Wiping the tears from my eyes from saying goodbye to my family, I turned and made my way through the line of security. I glanced up at the guard at the front of the line, and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I sighed and forced myself to bring a brave smile to my face. That felt better.

   There was a gruff looking middle-aged man in front of me who started the typical "Where ya goin'?" conversation. I told him about Capernwray Bible Schools and Champfleuri, and he showed interest in Christianity and told me he believed some of it. I felt a nudging to share Christ with him, but my timidity and lack of words to say threatened to stop me.

   However, when I began to consider that this man was headed to an eternity separated from Christ, I realized how foolish and selfish my own inhibitions were. Taking a deep breath, I started the only way I knew how, with the good ol' Worldview question, "What do you think happens when you die?" This proved to be a good conversation starter and led us down the path of talking about different beliefs.

   As we were conversing, I glanced around me and realized that the people around us were intently listening to our discussion as well. We continued talking as we progressed through the line. I do not remember exactly what I said, I can assure you that it was in no way eloquent, but any words that I was able to muster up at the moment must have come from God.

   We separated before going through security. As I made my way towards my plane and stood in line for Starbuck's, I smiled. Not a forced smile of bravery, but a genuine smile of joy. A smile because I knew that no matter where I went in the world, no matter what I did, God could use me if I was just sensitive to His calling.

Die Today

 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
--Hebrews 12:1-2

These verses out of Hebrews are often used as a path to a quickie, feel-good spiritual high. This is because, I think, it is so easy for us to read these words and create a "glamorous" view of the Christian walk. We say to God, "I'll do anything. I'll go preach the Gospel in China and take a bullet to the head for you. I'll go to a tribe in Africa and be slaughtered by cannibals. Whatever it takes to run a good race!"  

Then God says, "I want you to die to for me today-in the little things," and a race of endurance takes on a whole different sense. It means having patience for that one guy at work who always gets on your nerves, loving the girl that puts you down for living your convictions, and forgiving someone for the same offense over and over again.  

Suddenly, this race does not look like the one we envisioned. We were caught up in the glamour of me doing these amazing Christianly acts and have forgotten that the Christian life means the surrendering of self for the glory of God. It means that everything once held dear-my pride, my dreams, my identity-are counted all as loss.  Running the race promises to be strenuous and more than we can handle, but that is where God will be glorified most.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
--2 Corinthians 12:9-10

You Can't Change the World

Following is a short article I wrote for our church's youth newsletter recently:

Palms sweaty, knees knocking, I lifted my eyes up to the audience. I smiled and silently prayed, "Lord use me. Be it in whatever way You will-just use me." For the past few weeks I had been working on my speech for graduation,  practicing until my mouth was dry. The topic was something I was passionate about-I felt like everything was perfect.

While I was waiting to go up to speak, however, I started to fret, "What if nobody likes me? What if I sound stupid? What if they don't care about what I have to say?" I wanted to impact the other graduates with what I had to say, but what if I did not? As I sat there fretting, it suddenly began to dawn on me how foolish my worrying was. I had become so caught up in what I was going to say, how I was going to be perceived, and how I was going to be impact others that I had forgotten who would really be doing any impacting. If anything was going to come of this speech, it would be because of God and despite me.

My "Senior Challenge" I want to leave with you guys is this: The world is falling apart and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. It is so easy to get swept away in the, "I'm going to feed starving children in Africa, I'm going to save a forest, I'm gonna..." While all of these things are good, if that is all you do, it will amount to nothing. This world is starving, and you cannot feed it. The only thing that will make a lasting impact on this world is you letting God use you. If you chose to let God work through you, wherever you go in life, He is going to change the world through you feeding a starving child or saving a tree-and the impact will be an eternal one. So go chase your dreams, wherever they may take you, and let God change your world.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations"

This verse has been a challenge to me in the last few months on many levels. One thing that continually sticks out at me are the words "make disciples". Christ did not call us to be his buddies or pals, but He has called us to surrender our lives and live for Him. He is not looking for friends. He is looking for followers. It is easy for me to get so caught up in the picture I paint for myself of this God who is kind, loving and forgiving that I forget that this same God is omnipotent, all-knowing and holy. I find myself trying to water-down the Christian life into a picture of friendship and happiness when, in reality, it is a daily struggle to follow Christ and live contrary to cultural norms. It is not a call to an easy life, but a life that promises to bring true joy and eternal rewards.

   I just got back from one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I'm not even sure how to put into words how challenging Worldview Academy was. Honestly, I was reluctant to go, but it was a pretty awesome week.
   Last Wednesday we spent about an hour evangelizing in Seattle. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect, but I would say it was the best part of the week. Not because it made me feel good about myself, not because I had fun meeting people, and not because I liked convincing others. On the contrary, I didn't enjoy that at all. However, I believe God used that time to give me more of a heart for the lost.
   Since Sunday, we had been learning about different belief systems and the various ways people viewed life. I absorbed this information and understood it, but did not completely comprehend that there are actually people that believe this until we went out and asked others what they thought happened when they died or if they believed in a higher power than themselves. For a while after that, I just felt like I had this heavy weight on my shoulders.
   That night at dinner, I stared at my food and, though I was hungry, the sick feeling in my stomach turned the sweet corn on my plate raw and saw-dusty in my mouth. As I stared down at my food, my eyes began to mist over and the faces of those that I had spoken with earlier flashed through my memory. They are all so lost, every one of them. And all I could do was pray. Pray that God would reveal himself to them and that He would use our words to plant seeds in their hearts, because behind each of the faces we talked with was a dying soul headed to a eternity without Christ.
   I'm really thankful that I chose to go, as difficult as some of it was, because I know that God used that week to change and mold me into more of the person that He desires me to be. All in all, it was a good week.

"Hallelujah, all I have is Christ! Hallelujah, Jesus is my life!"

Till next time,

~Jerusha :)

So Great a Love

Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens.  For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved.  ~~Ephesians 1:3-6

   It will never cease to amaze me that the God of the Universe and the maker of all things could look at me, see me for who I really am, and want to be with me. There is simply no earthly comparison for a love that vast. When we as humans love, we always love without seeing all. We can never totally realize all of a persons weaknesses and sin, but God looked down and saw humans in total rebellion with no desire for Him and had a desire and love for us. He saw a people so drawn to their own selfish ambitions and was drawn to them.  

  

   What then can we do to deserve this love? Nothing. Try as we may, we can never earn what has been freely given to us. We can, however, surrender our lives to His will and strive, with everything we have, to be like Him.

"I once was lost in darkest night

Yet thought I knew the way

The sin that promised joy and life

Had led me to the grave

I had no hope that You would own

A rebel to Your will

And if You had not loved me first

I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race

Indifferent to the cost

You looked upon my helpless state

And led me to the cross

And I beheld God’s love displayed

You suffered in my place

You bore the wrath reserved for me

Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ

Hallelujah! Jesus is my life"

Live To Be Forgotten

 "When I die, I think it would be wonderful if, at my funeral, no one could remember my name."

Those words caught me off guard a little over a month ago as I was sitting listening to a speaker. My instant reaction  was, "But isn't that the meaning of life? To impact as many people for the better and leave such a mark in the world that you are remembered long after you leave it?"

The speaker went on to explain that he would much rather have Christ be remembered than himself. That what others will remember of him after he is gone is of next to no importance, but what others will remember of Christ is of infinite importance.

These thoughts humbled me so much. I realized that I have adapted to the worlds view of success: make plenty of money, be well known, have a good job, be remembered as a good person, etc. But in the grand scheme of things, while all these things are good, how much do they really matter? If I live my life so that when I die others remember me that's great, but in an eternal perspective, what have I really accomplished? I want to live my life so that, when I die, others will remember Christ.